The Comparison Game

We’ve all done it. We’ve all gotten to a point where we feel pretty good about ourselves, we feel, for once, that our writing isn’t too bad (dare I say—good). But then you do it.

You compare yourself to someone else.

Then, suddenly, your progress doesn’t feel good enough. You don’t feel good enough. You feel as though you’re miles behind where you should be and that if you don’t catch up by tomorrow, you’re worthless.

Comparison is a trap that we often fall into. Not only as writers, but as human beings. We rarely feel “good enough”. Not compared to everyone else either in our life or on social media.

We forget that our worth doesn’t come from those around us and that we can’t define ourselves based on what we see in others. Everyone is their own person, you are your own person. And everyone’s writing journey is going to look different.

You can’t compare your writing journey to someone else’s because each persons road to success is very different. You can look at your favorite author and how he or she got their book published, but as soon as you start comparing your journey to theirs, you’ve made a mistake. You can’t use their path as a step by step guideline.

Now, that being said, there is a lot of wisdom to be found in studying other authors, whether its their writing process or their path to publication. Oftentimes you can find a lot of great tidbits to implement into your own writing life. As long as you don’t treat it as a foolproof plan.

As writers, we’re always learning and can grow a lot from watching other writers—by seeing what works and what doesn’t work for them. However, this can very easily lead to us comparing our process to the process of other writers. Don’t. Just don’t.

Don’t cross the line of learning from other writers to comparing yourself.

Because something different will work for every writer and even if you do learn something from another writer, that doesn’t mean other things they do will work for you. For example, perhaps you notice one writer using scene cards and, after giving it a try, figure out that they work great for you too. But maybe that writer also writes everything by hand and you find you work best typing on the computer.

Do you see my point? While you can learn great things from other writers, that does not mean everything they do will work for you. Which then brings us full circle to comparing ourselves to others. Let me remind you one more time, comparison is a deadly trap for writers and one we should not fall into.

You have to believe that your writing is beautiful. That it’s amazing. You must have confidence in it now if you ever hope to have the confidence to see it published. But, more importantly, you have to have confidence in yourself and believe that you are worthy of writing something amazing.

Because you are.

Your turn!

Do you ever fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others? Do you enjoy learning from other writers and implementing what they find success in? Have you ever had confidence in your writing only to have it squashed by comparing yourself to others?

Blessings, Allyson


10 thoughts on “The Comparison Game

  1. Allyson, how do you do it? You always post something so entirely relatable for me. I’m a comparison person, it’s what I do. Literally I compare everything from the price of one to another, myself to others, my writing to other writing and I’m always no matter how hard I try on the short end of things.
    Thank you so much for the reminder that everyone is different! Man, I need this. I’ve been trying not to do much comparing lately…but it happens. Thanks so much for this post!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aww! I’m so glad it works out that way, lol! Oh, I can totally relate! I compare myself all the time, it’s really quite annoying. XD
      You’re welcome! I’m so glad it was what you needed right now. 💙

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you so much for this post, Allyson!! This might be the biggest mental setback I experience… I’m literally ALWAYS comparing myself to other writers. I’m trying to remember that everyone is on their own path and to let myself learn lessons from others without simultaneously comparing myself to them. (Also I love the imagery of this analogy I once heard: when you’re in a swimming race, you only slow yourself down by looking over your should to see who’s behind you and how well you’re doing, and that’s the same thing that happens in life. 😉 ) So anyway, thank you again for your encouragement!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome!! Yes, I feel that! This is definitely one of my biggest downfalls and something I’m trying to fix. It’s hard though. Really hard. Especially when you look at the amazing success some writers are having and you really want that success in your own life. *sigh* I absolutely LOVE that analogy!! Thank you so much for sharing! That is so true!

      Liked by 1 person

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