Not Feeling Good Enough (When you want to throw your story away…)

You know the feeling.

When you’re sitting there staring at the computer screen. The cursor keeps blinking and blinking but yet still, no words come. You wonder why you’re even sitting there.

Why would you write when you have nothing worthy to say? It feels as though all you ever write is trash and you will never improve. Your words will never be worth anything. Why are you even trying? Why do you waste your time?

I think we can all relate to these feelings. I know I sure can. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. This post is just as much for myself as it is for all of you.

Your words are worthy to be written.

Your words matter.

Your story deserves to be told and nothing your self doubt can say to you will change that.

When a soldier charges into battle he doesn’t have time to think through what he’s about to do. And even if he did, he knows he can’t. Because he might just chicken out. That’s how I feel when I’m sitting at the computer.

I feel like a coward. Because I know I have a story bottled up inside me needing to be told but I’m too scared to tell it. My self doubt is yelling too loud inside me to even hear my story anymore. All I can see are the failures and mistakes.

Lately, I’ve come to feel that all I write and all I’ve ever written is trash. Pure trash. I’ve been ignoring comments friends have made on docs where I’ve shared a couple stories. I haven’t been able to bring myself to open them even as the number of comments and suggestions increase.

But today I did. With no thought to what I was doing, I charged onto that battle ground. And you know what? I squashed that self doubt right then and there. I read through hundreds of edits, comments, and suggestions. Yes, some of them were hard to take in. I mean, why didn’t I think to word that sentence like that? Why didn’t I know to put that comma there?

But stop. I can’t think that way. Because when I pushed those thoughts out of my head, I actually enjoyed all the edits. They made my story so much stronger and the words of encouragement and fangirling in between made my writer heart so happy.

So I want to challenge the same to you. Has there been a story you’ve put off writing? Or a doc full of edits you’ve been ignoring? Don’t put off any longer. Do it—right now. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Get back on that horse before you lose your nerve completely.

And know, you are good enough.

Your turn!

Do you feel unworthy of telling the story in your heart? Do you ever feel as though your writing is trash? Do you know how to push past the self doubt and rise above it?

Blessings, Allyson

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